from my corner...

"The Little Things"

2009-05-03T21:07:00.014-04:00

The whole family together for Christmas:

A song that I wrote for Nana several years ago:

"The Little Things"

You knew, everything, we thought
The Lord says be kind to all
Honesty it what you always taught
Family is what we are and what we’ll always be.

It’s the little things you said
That taught me you were wise
It’s the little things you said
That showed me your love
It’s the little things you said
That echo in my heart
It’s the little things you said
That turned my eyes towards Christ

I still remember the words
that flowed from your lips
Of how others would feel,
if they were put down,
“Someday you’ll all be sorry,
that you picked on me.”

Papa loved you, loves you today
Eternity will be blessed by you
The Lord will say, welcome home
Well done, my servant, my child
Run to me, my strength is now yours

Thank you, for loving little me
Thank you, for all of your wisdom
You know everything, proved true!

Thank you, I love you, my Nana

In loving memory of Eleanor (Ellie) Quelette
(December 13th, 1918 - May 3rd, 2009)

Jen's Psalm

2009-04-01T10:28:00.011-04:00

Write a Psalm that retells the story of your life from the perspective of God's faithfulness to you:

In my earliest of life's memories
I was never alone or without
You supplied all of my needs
Leaving little room for doubt

As a growing child of wonder
You revealed the depths of Your love
Your forgiveness and grace are eternal
As well as my home up above

You strengthened my child-like faith
And showed me the path of Your ways
Baptizing me in Your Spirit and Truth
To follow You all of my days

As a young adult I stood for you
Proclaiming Your name to the lost
Your sacrifice pierced my soul
As I studied the wondrous cross

You blessed me with a loving husband
And soon a child to cherish
I have experienced true faithfulness
By a Lord that will never perish

Amen

Marriage Survey

2009-02-17T19:06:00.009-05:00

I posted this on Facebook, so I thought it might be a fun way to bring my blog out of the dust!

1. When was your "engagement" anniversary: August 28, 2004

2. When is your "marriage" anniversary: April 23, 2005

3. How long have you known your spouse: 8.5 years... since September 2, 2000

4. How long did you date/court before you were engaged: We dated just about 4 years before we he surprised me with an, "I love you" followed by a, "Will You Marry Me?" and a RING!

5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time: Campus Crusade for Christ at Ohio University. Specifically, Morton Hall :)

6. Do you have any children yet: No

7. How many: 0

8. Do you have any house pets: Yes, our Chihuahua, Piper!

9. Do you own a house or rent: Own a house

10. What is one of your favorite activities together: Anything! Dinner out, movies (out or in), shopping, being at home, hanging with family/friends/lifegroup, going to church, playing with Piper, rollerskatin', dancing at weddings, coffee shops, bookstores, taking trips... to name a few :)

11. Do you have a favorite vacation spot: Yes, 2! #1: Hawaii since it brings back wonderful honeymoon memories :) #2: San Diego, CA! We called it our 'honeymoon part two' (2 years later) and had SUCH a blast.

12. How many siblings (including in-laws): We each have 1 sister who is married which makes 2 siblings and 2 brother in-laws all together.

13. What church do you attend: Heritage Christian Church

14. Is this the church you were married: Yes, by Pastor Jim! Just weeks before major construction... the nursery room I got ready in is now a hallway...

15. How did you know that your spouse was "The One?": I'm not good at short answers! Well, we had quite a journey throughout our dating relationship during which the Lord taught us SO much about true love, His love. We kept trying to break up and God would bring us back together :) We are so similar yet so different which creates an amazing balance & connection. I liked him right away for how much we had in common yet equally for how many qualities he had that I lacked. Tony is the most amazing person I have ever met, and I knew early on that I wanted to spend forever by his side!

16. Where do you and your spouse work: He works for a small company, and I work for a very large company. Is that too breezy?

17. Where did you honeymoon: Oahu, Hawaii

18. Leave some of your favorite marriage advice: Uh oh, another hard one to shrink...

Love is a DECISION, not a feeling... CHOOSE to love one another every day. Be best friends and talk about everything. Honesty and communication are key! Keep Jesus Christ the center of your marriage and the focus of your life. Remain girlfriend and boyfriend forever! (Date nights are key.) Do these together: Attend church, pray, read the Bible and other books, go to counseling, play games, laugh, cry, travel, stay in, cook, clean, paint, and so much more... you get the idea :) Challenge your spouse yet encourage them even more. Speak highly of each other to those around you... a husband/wife is such a blessing to have! And or course, display ALL 5 Love Languages! (Read the book too.) Be quick to forgive... you aren't perfect either! Ok, I'll stop there :) But seriously, let me know if you want more... I kinda LOVE marriage!

"To Worship You, I Live"

2008-09-23T13:48:00.011-04:00

away, away from the noise
alone with You
away, away to hear Your voice
and meet with You
nothing else matters, my one desire is

to worship You, I live
to worship You, I live, I live to worship You
to worship You, I live
to worship You, I live, I live to worship You

away away, away away from the noise alone with You
away away, to hear Your voice and meet with You
it's been a while but hear my heart cry again

to worship You, I live, I live to worship You
to worship You, I live
to worship You, I live, I live to worship You
to worship You, I live
to worship You, I live, I live to worship You

~Israel

Thanks, Patch

2008-06-03T12:30:00.006-04:00

On a random summer day during my high school years, I woke up one sunny morning around 11am as usual. The three sisters were all in one room: Jess, Jen and Patch, yep, the dog. Patch was definitely an inside dog, but was fond of her summer evenings stretched out in the backyard. The night before had been nothin' out of the ordinary - no lake trips, forest visits, or mingling with other animals. Or so we thought...

After realizing that it was much closer to pizza roll time than cereal time, I stumbled into the bathroom to tend to my face, teeth, and hair. Before my eyes had fully adjusted to the light, I felt something "funny" on my back. I reached back, expecting to simply scratch the area to relieve the sensation. Much to my surprise, I felt an actual "something!" Ew! What the? Did this come from innocent little Patch?! From my own backyard?! My natural instinct immediately kicked in, turning my fingers into a very tense, awkward, flicking motion to rid whatever was "hanging-out" on my skin. The full blown panick attack set in when I realized that my flicking was not even phasing this tiny creature on my spine. "Jeeeeeess!" I screamed in need of help. "Loooooook!" (yes, all my words were very loud and drawn out.) To sum up this part of the story: My sister and I had both learned that there was a very "sucky" tick on my back, and we were both violently afraid of unidentified, sucking creatures... namely, ticks.

We did what any other almost-adult-teenagers would do: Called our mom at work in complete hysterics. Mom worked her wonders of calming us down and proceeded to instruct us on "removing" the uninvited guest gettin' a free piggy-back ride. Something about lighting a match? The open flame didn't scare me at all... in fact, it was a relief from the feeling of claustrophobic-insect-fear that was gripping me. After too many failed attempts, burned skin, and a stubborn tick, we remained at square one. The three of us had limited knowledge of the intentions and actions of ticks, but we knew we weren't supposed to just pull him out.

Square two led us to jumping in the car and driving 10 minutes to mom's office. Without Mom having any time to yell at us for how late we slept in and little we had accomplished, she had a heart-to-heart with our little friend (or enemy). I knew my mom had no more answers when she typed our family doctor's number into her phone. "On lunch?!" she states in question, slamming the phone down. "Well girls, there is only one option left... I'm calling 911." I didn't think my eyes could grow ANY wider, but they did. I stood there frozen, envisioning an ambulance and stretcher... all for this tiny bug. "911, what's your emergency," Mom heard on the other end and replied with, "Yeah, hi, can you tell me how to get a tick off of my daughter's back?! Please? Quickly?" The nice lady on the other end of the phone probably secretly laughed and replied, "Oh, just grab some tweezers and yank him out!" (exactly what we thought you weren't supposed to do). After mom thanked the lady and assured her that we did not need a squad, I finally saw some light at the end of the tunnel.

The tweezers were applied, and that little sucky-villan came right out, head and all. SICK. With one flush of the toilet, we watched "Toby" swim out of our lives forever. Yep, mom had named him. After all the time and emotions spent on him, I guess he earned a name?

No, there is never a morning that I don't wake up and touch that spot on my back... just to be sure? Or because I have a complex? Oh well, either way.

Germy?

2008-05-13T08:03:00.002-04:00

Some of you may not be able to relate with me, because I'm quite the opposite of a germ-a-phobe. In fact, you may want to take a moment to decide whether you are or aren't before you read any further.

I find so much humor in watching germ-a-phobes with their odd, "rituals" that somehow convince their body & mind that they have just claimed victory over a germ. Little do they know... they just breathed another swarm of them right after they put the disinfectant away.

To give a real-life example: I mean, these people are opening the bathroom doors with their elbows and/or knees to avoid a hand coming in contact with the handle! I can't help but stare at the awkward, uncoordinated, dance-like scene that this creates. Didn't God give us hands for these types of tasks?! AND, if you think about it, they go back to their offices/cubes, put their elbows directly on their desk, where there hands also touch within minutes. Now you have the "bathroom handle scum" on your hands after all just like the rest of us... and I had a MUCH quicker bathroom trip. Not really worth it to me?

You either meet up with the germ back at your desk, or you successfully avoid these common germs and fall ill much more often from lack of exposure. Personally, I'd rather just grab the handle and stay immunized while they all call in sick tomorrow.

Are you still a germ-a-phobe? If so, you might want to just let it go... the germs will always win. Take a deep breath, and go for that handle with your bare hand. It's immensely freeing.

Purina has been warned...

2008-05-01T09:17:00.010-04:00

Still half asleep, I was observing my tall-little dog chow down her "mornin' dinners" (my sister's dog-talk-name for our pets breakfast meal), when suddenly Piper began making odd, choking faces. I wasn't convinced that she was choking, but was sure something was out of the ordinary since she was no longer bent over in a french-kiss position with her food bowl.

Quickly giving in to my motherly instincts, I stuck my finger in her mouth, trying to scoop out whatever was in her throat... only to come out with three teeth marks to my knuckle which began bleeding a few minutes later. Yep, I took one for the team. Willingly. My mind was flooded with images of performing the Heimlich on a small animal, but I shook it off knowing that she was still getting air. As I reached in much more cautiously the second time, I came out victorious. She hadn't exactly been choking yet, but a "ball" of food, about the size of a golfball, had somehow formed. At first, I thought the food-ball was a result of having too much food in her mouth, so it meshed into a giant, squishy mass... but no, I couldn't even BEGIN to break this ball apart. Piper still wanted every last bite of her meal, so I chipped away at it with my sluggish, morning-strength while she attacked each chip of food that broke free. I am still unsure of how it all happened, but I'm concluding that the ball came to us (from the bag of food) in that form. Could I have sued if she really choked? Consider this my warning, Purina.

Later in the morning, my also sleepy-eyed husband commented, "Piper's been kinda whiney while you've been getting ready." I responded, "Yeah, she kinda choked a little, or something..." not sure what to call it. In the end, I was thankful that the only result of the 3-minute, dramatic episode was nothing more than a few whines.

Appreciation!

2008-04-24T14:46:00.013-04:00

It was 8:00am the morning of my 3rd wedding anniversary and my face already held a smile that I couldn't get rid of. God is so good and His blessings through marriage are beyond words...

My apologies to all of you who are anticipating what might follow this captivating opening sentence, but this entry happens to be about a parking lot.

As I parked my car in the faithful lot that daily awaits me, I was pleased with how spring-like the day already felt. My focus quickly shifted to a tent and balloons in the corner of the lot, smack dab in the middle of my path. Honestly, my first thought was that Nationwide must set up a tent in the lot of each employee to recognize their wedding anniversary... but I quickly shook my head back to reality as a man signaled for me to approach his "station."

While he proudly directed my attention to the free coffee, juice, water and doughnuts, I learned that this was a simple act in honor of "Customer Appreciation Day." These people wanted to give ME a treat for parking in THEIR parking lot. As if I don't pay a monthly free or something? Is it their way of attempting to justify the outrageous parking prices? Maybe... but I think they were just trying to be nice.

For some sinful reason, I wanted to shrug them off with a hushed "thank you" and go on my way since I already had hot tea (from home) in my hand. I noticed a couple other individuals say "Ah, thanks anyway, I gotta get to a meeting." The next guy stated, "I can't have a doughnut!" for whatever reason. One guy looked so shocked by the "free" starbucks coffee that he couldn't do anything else but head straight towards it for his portion, without saying a word. Besides the few voices I heard, I saw many re-direct their entire route to avoid this tent that was not expected in their morning routine. I'm not sure what to make of all this, but i know that people have trouble with free things and with changes in their schedule/expectaions. Although brief, it was an interesting "people study" to observe. To defy everything I love about a routine, I approached the tent, thanked the people repeatedly, made a giggly comment about the weather, complimented the convenience of their lot, said "Hi" to a few fellow parking neighbors, grabbed a bottle of water, filled up a cup of fresh, piping-hot coffee, and poured my tea out in the grass.

What a wonderful start to a day... an Anniversary day at that. A simple act of kindness can go a long way. I wish we had random "People Appreciation Days." Wouldn't there would be a few more smiles?

Oh, and although the flowers from my husband far outweighed the "smiley people tent"... the event was still worthy of a blog :)

Tall 'n Proud

2008-04-14T11:09:00.004-04:00

I apologize for my lack of new posts... Apparently, I have been too busy taking pictures of Piper to write about her :) For now, as my words are few, I will leave you with her most recent head-shot...

'Til next time!

Office Rules

2008-01-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

I have a theory that you tend to forget your pet peeves when people ask you what they are. However, when you experience them, they are quite gripping to your emotions. I'm actually attempting to capture a pet peeve while it's happening so that it won't slip my mind again.

Someone is eating breakfast at their desk that involves syrup. Probably the strongest smelling syrup ever produced. I mean, I'm generally ok with people eating at their desk, but there are a few foods surfacing my thoughts that should not be allowed in group-work areas: Indian/Chinese/Mexican food, tuna, or SYRUP!

I realize that when you eat these potent foods, you are unaware of the aroma your lunch is creating for everyone else. Strangely enough, I happen to like tuna, but despise when other people are eating it across the row/room. For my particular case today, this is worse because I don't like syrup in the first place. Nope, never have. What do I put on pancakes, you ask? Butter and powdered sugar!

Anyway, now the smell will linger throughout our row of cubes for the rest of the day and might possibly be detected early tomorrow morning. I will keep thinking there is a small child with sticky hands close by... and my sweater will exude maple sugary-ness even though I didn't come in contact with it.

Sidenote: Someone just brought McDonald's to their desk... we'll save that topic for another day.

Piper Z. Frabott

2008-01-11T09:14:00.001-05:00

The "Z" in the middle stands for "Zoey" who is Piper's birth mom... and the stunning lady that gave her the beautiful carmel markings on her face ;) So far, the names we call her on a daily basis are: Piper, Pipey, Pipe, Peeps, Carmel, Chai, Little one, Long legs, Buddy, Good girl, and Phoebe (by accident).

Piper came to us from a loving home on December 21st at only 12 weeks old. Her birthday is September 26, 2007 which I intend to celebrate. In addition to her mother mentioned above, her dad "Rico" is a striking, white Chihuahua. Her brothers and sisters are now spread across many homes as adopted family pets (or "toys").

Stats: Piper is a full-bred Chihuahua with deer-like features. She proudly stands tall for her kind, weighing in at 8 lbs. Surprisingly, she has already been mistaken for a Jack Russel Terrier and on another occasion, a Mini-Greyhound. She is mostly white with "carmel" on her face and back-end. Eyes = black. Tongue = pink. Teeth = microscopic, but white. Ears = rising taller and straighter by the day. After a couple weeks of adjustment, she now willingly struts around showing off her Burberry-patterned "necklace." We haven't heard her voice much, but I do know that her "yark" sounds oddly similar to a human yawn. She also speaks this special "chi" language when she nests in her blanket before laying down. Her favorite noises are the plastic scoup digging into her food container and the sound of my cell phone ringing. Her favorite toys are my hair bands... but the heat escaping the vent comes in at a close second. She prefers to sleep curled up in a tight donut-like circle with her head buried in a blanket.

Her special tricks include the record-breaking height at which she jumps, followed by turning a complete 360 in the air while attempting to jump off the couch to catch a toy. She also swallows her food whole... with not one crunch, nope, not one. She sits and stays on command, with treat in hand, of course. The small "pee pad" in our garage smells enough like grass that she relieves herself the second her paws hit the soft, familiar surface. Ringing a bell that hangs from our door-knob is her current trick-in-training. When mastered, this will symbolize her need to potty. Tony is really the trick-trainer, while I just watch and take pictures.

I'm confident that I could write for days, because our new little addition is SO entertaining. I submit that this is only the beginning of posts starring Piper.

why the rush?

2007-11-01T15:48:00.000-04:00

I totally forgot this blog was in my "cue" from november...

I can't believe it took me 2 years to observe such an obvious contradiction: people are in SUCH a hurry to arrive at a work place that they do not enjoy. The speficic areas that jump out to me are: rushing in traffic, running to a crosswalk to beat the flashing red hand, leaping into the elevator before it closes, and ditching others in line for refreshements. I mean, you'd think they were late for a meeting with the president! ok, or a celebrity. All this honking, swerving, cussing, running, ditching, sweating, cheating, lying...

To get to work? The individuals who really back themselves into a corner and drive this point home are those who meet the criteria above and THEN complain about their job. do they not notice the contradiction in their actions? They should get in the slow lane on the freeway and enjoy a few more minutes of their favorite music filling their car. One time a guy held the elevator door for me while I walked alllllllll they way across the hall just so I wouldn't have to wait for the next one. He noodded in my direction and desperatley commented, "Whew, you just made it." He then proceeded in conversation with his co-worker about how long the day ahead was going to be and how far away the weekend seemed. With caffeine in hand, he exited to his floor, walking as if he were being timed.

Maybe they aren't really in a rush to get to work... maybe they are just impaitient people? I guess that would make more sense.

On a similar note, I recently heard a guy in the elevator mumble to the unfamiliar group, "It's Friday... it doesn't get much better than this! Well, maybe Saturday."

Is Friday really all some people are living for?

the 24/7 work-out

2007-10-17T14:49:00.000-04:00

most people equate muscle-soreness with significant activities in which you anticipate the pain to follow. my experience is much different. as I learn of yet another unique trait, I conclude that I must do life aggressively. instead of giving you the full story with each secenario, here are some "every day" things that regularly require pain meds:

sleeping, eating, drying my hair, doing anything to my hair, painting my nails/toes, chewing gum, walking, doing puzzles/board games, writing a paper, riding in a boat, watching work-outs, cleaning, cooking, singing, folding laundry, shopping, and most recently: eating restaurant-sized salads(yes, my arm was so sore, it inhibited my typing).

on the flip side, I can do a full work-out involving cardio and weights, play an intense volleyball game, or fall face down on the pavement, without a hint of soreness or bruising. is someone playing a trick on me?

I give consent

2007-10-10T11:09:00.000-04:00

have you ever felt as though you were stuck in a bad scenario? one that might be used in a short video series displayed at a conference? the lengths of these real life scenarios may vary, but if you've had the feeling, you know what I mean. I experienced one this morning that was so scripted, I knew I had become an actress/victim almost immediately... but who said I gave consent? I probably wasn't the best candidate for "them" to sneak up on because I recognized it right away. I didn't discover any hidden cameras, but people all seemed to walking in a choreographed rythem. looking back, I think the title was "learning how to stay focused on the positive while everything else is falling a apart" or "how to trust that the Lord has a plan when things aren't playing out how we expected" or simply "a series if mishaps." I apologize for the length, but here it goes:

before "Scene 1" I woke up early for a change, with plenty of time for my morning routine. it almost felt too good to be true. by the time i was in my car and just about to my bus stop (15 minutes from my home), I decided to check my phone. to my surprise and frustration, the phone had been forgotten. i quickly remembered where i left it, and decided to turn back for it. not realizing that traffic goes both ways, i got home about the time I should arrive at work. from this point on, i was in panic/guilt mode for being so late. I also had to round up quarters at home since i would be driving downtown, and paying for parking. after the worst traffic I had ever seen on the freeway, and being next to a cop, I finally made it to the inner-city 45 minutes later. treating myself to the expensive parking garage for being so late, another strange thing took place: the garage was not allowing daily parking. i mean, what? when does that happen? i was acutally laughing at this point, trying to understand the overall lesson the Lord was trying to teach me. (are we on scene 3, 4? I lost count!) by the time i reached the gravel parking lot several blocks away, i realized that i had taken every item out of my backpack since I was planning to walk in from the garage... shoot! after re-packing, paying, and walking very briskly, I made it to the crosswalk just in time for the flashing red hand, of course. yes Lord, I know how to be patient! some unfortunate co-worker of mine was walking near me and asked how i was doing... yes, he got a breif re-cap of my long cummute in... but at least I laughed while sharing! it had been 2 hours since I woke up at this point. think of all I could have accomplished? but the Lord numbers my steps and has by best interest at heart. i finally felt the "production" had ended as i transitioned into a pretty normal day (besides learning of a whole in my pants). i began jotting down thoughts and appreciating my sense of humor and positive outlook on the scene in which I had the starring role. I've always wanted to be in actress in a short video... but wait, a show is never complete without an encore! on my way to a meeting, my elevator stopped on the 4th floor, and the elevators began opening and closing repeatedly... not taking us any further. i got out of the elevator with the assurance that I would get stuck in it as the final straw. I'm sad to say that the scene/act/play/story ends there... as the point had definitely been made, thank you to the Director! I wish the crew had at least told me the title, but they probably ran off since they had no consent.

I still don't know what God's exact reason was for all of this, but consequently, I learned a quality life lesson from my little debut: The Lord has chosen me, not just for today, but forever.

I just need a green pepper

2007-10-08T15:52:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write something insightful today... but one thing just keeps pushing its way to the front of my mind, leaving all thought-provoking analogies in the dust. this may even wind up being my most vulerable of posts.

friends and family, I think I have an unhealthy love for the grocery store shopping cart. and I don't mean the big shopping cart that you might intially picture, no, the small cart with two levels. It's just the right size for my weekly shopping load... it turns corners without ever hitting another shopper, cart or corner display. I'm lucky that a Kroger employee has yet to see me smile when I enter the store and see a fresh bi-level cart awaiting. maybe that little cart has become like a friend to me? and you didn't think I had attachment problems before? Looking back, I remember the "Super Duper" having these carts when I was a kid... and my sister and I preferred the store for that very reason. these days, I thought the mini-carts were long gone... until our Kroger decided to renovate! anyway, I'm trying to blame my joy for the grocery store on the cart, when I actually enjoy the whole outing more than anyone I know... the cute cart is only an added bonus.

I learned early on in life that I was a list-maker, and I appreciated the sense of accomplishment when checking things off. this must be why grocery shopping feels so productive. if I didn't have a list, I probably would not plan my evening around the trip (yes, missing TV shows and social outings). I'm not gonna lie, I have actually made up reasons to "swing by" the store, or found a recipe with something in it that required a store run. A ripe banana, Tony's cheerios, or our favorite salsa have all added to the equation. I also take pride in how quick and efficient my store trips can be. with my list written in order of the store... I pull in the driveway just 29 minutes after I have left, supporting my statement of "I'll be back in a half hour" to Tony as I pulled away. One added bonus is my sweet husband who jumps up to help with the grocery carrying at the sound of the garage door.

In all seriousness, I think I am blessed by my joy found in grocery shopping. maybe it's some form of therapy; having the time to myself, unwinding from the day, finding a good sale, checking off my list, and stocking the kitchen in a orderly fashion. when looking down the road, I am determined to never let this task be tied to complaint since I will hopefully be nurturing a husband and family for many many years to come :) back to the cart, if your store doesn't have this option... you should consider finding a new one as it just might change your whole experience.

prove me wong - please

2007-09-28T15:16:00.000-04:00

You know, for a long time, I didn't think I had any pet peeves that were truly significant. however, early in my professional career, I discovered a bothersome act committed by SO many around me: someone sets up a meeting or celebration for a certain reason (ie. birthday, new job, new team, baby, wedding, leaving team, joining team) and then the very reason for the gathering is never addressed!! It's as if the beginning is there (the invite, the people, the decorations) and the ending is there (the goodbye, the card, the cake, etc.) but what happened to the middle (the meat, the main course, the body)?! no, the pretty cupcakes do not take the place of words.

I'm negatively reminded of the 'intern' lunch that "those people" in Athens threw for me as I was one of only two interns that quarter... not only did they forget to invite me to it, but they gave me some random assignement that caused me to arrive just as they were throwing away their party plates that held evidence of the food I was supposed to be sharing with them. one of them commented "oh hey jennifer, i think there's still some food left." i immediately turned to go get food to stop the embarassment from going any further. i sat down on the pavement to eat the sun-warmed, bee-infested, pot-luck food, and realized this whole thing was getting worse by the second. the girls actually stood there and faked small talk with me because they knew it was too akward to leave me there sitting alone (since the whole lunch was "for me" anyway!). I don't remember much more from the storybesides this last highlight (or lowlight): one girl handed me a gift bag and commented that I did a good job interning and that I would be missed. how can this be true when this was really the first time they had spoken to me? the gift included a generic card with signed names - not one personal message. the picture frame they picked out had to have been a joke because it read "friends" across the top! this must have been what started my hatred towards events that neglect addressing the very reson they were taking place! if you don't believe me about this random day of mine towards the end of my college career - just ask Brooke - she was the luckiest to hear it first.

About a year ago, I went to a "get to know" you lunch at work where 4 women talked about the weather, the menu, and what TV shows they watched the night before. we never even touched a subject that would remotely help us get to know each other. in my opinion, the lunch was a total waste of time.

I could go on for days with examples, but I think by now, my point has clearly been expressed. After several additional occasions that ended in similar disappointment, I found myself longing for someone to prove me wrong. Will anyone ever talk about what the past year has meant to them at a birthday gathering? Do people ever share favorite memories about a co-worker who is leaving? This is like creating a template and never inputing the data. Or like wearing multiple accessories with no outfit. Would you warm up for an exercise, then cool down, without the workout in between? It could even be compared to compliling a title, index, and appendix to a book, with no story in between. The only scenario that I might possibly side with is going to the Melting Pot to order the 'appetizer' round and 'dessert' round, skipping the meat in between.

Just the other day, I had the privilege to go to a "going away" lunch. I went in convinced that the topic would never be touched. To my surprise, a gift was given, a card was personally written in, a gift card actually matched the persons interest and the guest of honor was asked to give a small going away speech. After blinking extra hard and pinching my arm, I learned that I was not dreaming. I had finally been proven wrong, and it was quite refreshing.

I'm back...

2007-09-20T18:06:00.000-04:00

I think reason that I haven't blogged in so long is because I don't know which thought to expand on. at the end of the day, I just have too many that I am too overwhelmed to settle on one. a revelation occured to me today: I can jot down a few different subjects in one day... or even in one blog! sometimes the answer is just right in front of us, isn't it?

thots from today...

- "It's all in the spelling." I usually hate when people spell things the wrong way on purpose, but the spelling "thought" as "thot" is just too cute. I think the reason I am so fond of it is because it looks like the word "tot" which of course links to "tater tot." at this point I am reminded of loving tater tots as a kid... its all happy memories which mostly include mom, dad and jess as well. I don't think I have met anyone who doesn't like tater tots. the question is: why do we have to give them up as adults? you just don't see them as a part of "grown up" meals. on the contrary, there are also grown executives (a few of which I happen to know) that go to a certain restaurant downtown simply because you can have tater tots as a side with any meal. I don't know what I love most: that restaurant or the executives who aren't afraid to get tots!

- "Just stop, and ask yourself one question." I am reading a book about marriage and came across a line of thought that jumped right off the page and into my heart. I will probably regret admitting this, but I have learned that I am someone who "likes" to fight, argue, disagree, be right, etc. so, who usually starts these tiffs over tiny matters? guilty again. my husband is a blesssing for so many reasons, but mostly because he still loves me, dispite the previous confession. while many arguments are very productive, more of them are flat out unnecessary. back to the book I referenced: I came across a question that I pray will forever change my outlook on fighting, with anyone, but mostly with Tony: "If I knew I was going to heaven tomorrow, would I still argue about this today?" need I comment more?

- "Co-workers, you just never know." Just minutes before leaving work today, one co-worker commented to another about "multi-tasking" in the car on the way home. someone else piped in that they are guilty of the same thing. I chimed in (trying to be friendly and make small talk from over the cube wall) that I am proud of my multi-tasking skills in the car, but should probably be more careful on the road. I even added the cube chat chuckle at the end. the one co-worker quickly shot this back at me: "did you know that multi-tasking doesn't really exist? the brain can only do one thing at a time." I was taken back a few notches and I decided to agree right away. I am usually a slow internal processor, but I responded with, "well, I do various things at once, switching back and forth between them very quickly." This made me think, hm, I guess I need to update my resume with: "...good at doing many things at once, switching back and forth, while still watching for detail and performing a high quality of work." uhhh, I don't think they'd read that far down... or hire me. let's just stick with "exceptional multi-tasker" and leave the definition as what we have just discussed (unspoken of course). Well, that was a nice exercise for my brain, but I think I'm back to square one.

- "Productivity is relative." In response to Tony's blog, I happen to believe that blogging is indeed productive.

"the lake"

2007-06-05T09:44:00.000-04:00

what comes to my mind when I think about Indian Lake...

greenish water, fishermen, locals, bugs, quaint shops, old restaurants, unique homes, islands, donut shop, mcdonalds, pew island, tecumseh island, spill over, rollerena, candy store, campground, garage sales, neighbors, gravel roads...

the house: my family, soft carpet, old towels, the peaceful sun room, the fans, timeless decorations, old plates and bowls, the smells of: eggs and bacon, coffee, sunscreen, fish, gas from the boat, an old deck of cards, popcorn, the sounds of: boats, kids, laughing, playing, dogs barking, lawnmowers, cookouts...

rollerblading, bike riding, skating, walking, reading, boating, swimming, all four seasons, laughing, family meals & games, birthday celebrations, friends, tripoley, yahtzee, jason, memaw and pawpaw...

the memories of these places, people, events, and activities are forever sketched on my heart, and are what truly define "Indian Lake" to me...

all days are created equal

2007-05-16T14:20:00.000-04:00

i took this picture at a wedding over the weekend and though it was a beautiful illustration for my thoughts...

well, i have alot of random topics in my head so i will just pick one... to sum it up: rain and mondays.

i never realized how much the weather affected people until i became an adult and entered the work force. in conjunction with weather, certain days of the week have far too much influence to a persons mood or attitude. i see people heads hung low on "gloomy" days and "mondays," as if you aren't even allowed to come in smiling if it's the beginning of the week. if it's raining, i can just write their attitudes off as terrible right from the start. i have actually heard these exact quotes on my elevator rides, "Well, I'm doing ok considering the crappy weather and it's 4 whole days until the weekend." "I wouldn't make it through a monday without my coffee... there's just no way." "Friday's are the best... we should be able to leave early just because it's Friday." "The weekends just aren't long enough."

the list could go on and on, but in conclusion, i see many people "living for the weekends and sunny days." how sad is that? i think it would be such a waste of time to live all those days in between unhappy and complaining. don't they realize that we need mondays and tuesdays to make thursdays and fridays what they are? we need the weeks to even make a "weekend" exist. we need the rain to make our grass green, our flowers grow, and lakes remain full of water... to keep the earth from burning up. shoot, we should be rejoicing for these things!! a monday, like a friday, is another day that God has given us full of breath and life. to live for Him and to bring glory to His name. i found myself starting to 'follow the pack' a while back, but this whole concept revealed itself to me. i decided that i would always have a positive attitude on mondays and gloomy days to bring a ray of light to the days of negativity. i realize i have to fake my attitude sometimes, but people honestly don't know how to respond when i take that approach. it really throws them off, and hopefully makes them think.

if anyone reads this, i challenge you to think about this new perspective. make a committment to go against the grain and take the path less traveled. make monday your favorite day because of all the blessings and opportunities the week ahead may bring. because the Lord has made it and has given you life. and what happened to being thankful simply for having a job? or having freedom? praise Him for the rain and even let your hair or pants get wet. comment on how soothing the rain sounds or beautiful the clouds appear. it's just a thought, just another way we can allow God to use us, bless us, and hopefully bless others around us. He has made all things good and His will is perfect. who are we to choose which days or what weather is "better?" every day is a day that the Lord has made... let us rejoice and be glad in it!

people always ask me if i was devastated by the rain and snow on my wedding day and i tell them, "it's quite the opppsite, I wouldn't have had it any other way..."

reasons for seasons

2007-05-04T10:02:00.000-04:00

change is an interesting concept and quite a catch 22...

we long for change yet we fear it. we love to see new things, yet fear losing the past. we like to be comfortable and stable, yet desire a totally different routine/environment. the spontaneous long to be scheduled, while the structured long for spontaneity. we grieve saying goodbye to friends, but welcome new ones. we encourage one another to move away, but desire to buy a home and stay in one place... we want to go somewhere new for vacation, but love the memories and warmth of the place we often go. we always seem to want the next job, but like the comfort of the one we have... change can completely restore us, while stability can bring fulfillment as well...

I personally get so attached to people, situations, feelings, etc. that I have a difficult time with change and transition. on the other hand, I seem to be a pretty well-adjusted person which means I find myself doing well once the change has happened and I'm acquanted once again to the new circumstance. I have come to learn that I have seperation anxiety and deal with it every single day. anxiety and unsettledness fill my heart at the end of each day, simply because I am attached to the day! it's just so hard to let go of it. do I really have to start all over again tomorrow? I am fine with this day... why can't this day just continue? in the mornings, I feel joyful because I have adjusted to a new day. maybe it's when I feel the most in control? or maybe its the point in the day where I am the least attached so I actually have the most freedom? ...each Friday at work, I have a bit of sadness that the week is over, not meaning I wish I could work more hours, just a refelection of "did I do the week well? is that it?" I fear the free time of the weekend because I am used to the full schedule of the week. each Sunday night, I panic, as you might guess... do I have to let go of the weekend already? but I like my freedom, staying up late, and visiting with friends and family... what will Monday bring? I forget what it feels like at work every day? I know that co-workers come and go... but when they go, I feel sad and think things just won't ever be the same again. why do I feel like no one else experiences this? maybe this is why I love to send cards to people or email them after we have just spent time together. making sure I get enough closure seems to help me close this gap. I must learn that people come in and out of our lives for different lengths of seasons and for different reasons. we must make the most of every opportunity because we don't know what the next day brings... if I spend too much time grieving what has passed, I may miss the next lesson that God has for me.

so those are just some of my thoughts around the complexity of change. It's my biggest enemy and my deepest desire... it causes me to weep and feel my lowest, and laugh so hard as my joy bubbles over. how can one concept hold such extremes?

blogging brings new insight

2007-04-12T10:34:00.000-04:00

after reading my husbands intriguing posts, it has been confirmed that writing seems to express thoughts on a much different level than when we speak them. his perspectives have given me a glimpse into his mind and heart that I wouldn't necessarily see or hear in a passing conversation. I have decided to give it a try in hopes for the same connection from him. also, as an avenue for my analogies that I personally think could be published :) daily, the Lord teaches me too many exciting things to waste them by letting them be forgotten...