You know, for a long time, I didn't think I had any pet peeves that were truly significant. however, early in my professional career, I discovered a bothersome act committed by SO many around me: someone sets up a meeting or celebration for a certain reason (ie. birthday, new job, new team, baby, wedding, leaving team, joining team) and then the very reason for the gathering is never addressed!! It's as if the beginning is there (the invite, the people, the decorations) and the ending is there (the goodbye, the card, the cake, etc.) but what happened to the middle (the meat, the main course, the body)?! no, the pretty cupcakes do not take the place of words.
I'm negatively reminded of the 'intern' lunch that "those people" in Athens threw for me as I was one of only two interns that quarter... not only did they forget to invite me to it, but they gave me some random assignement that caused me to arrive just as they were throwing away their party plates that held evidence of the food I was supposed to be sharing with them. one of them commented "oh hey jennifer, i think there's still some food left." i immediately turned to go get food to stop the embarassment from going any further. i sat down on the pavement to eat the sun-warmed, bee-infested, pot-luck food, and realized this whole thing was getting worse by the second. the girls actually stood there and faked small talk with me because they knew it was too akward to leave me there sitting alone (since the whole lunch was "for me" anyway!). I don't remember much more from the storybesides this last highlight (or lowlight): one girl handed me a gift bag and commented that I did a good job interning and that I would be missed. how can this be true when this was really the first time they had spoken to me? the gift included a generic card with signed names - not one personal message. the picture frame they picked out had to have been a joke because it read "friends" across the top! this must have been what started my hatred towards events that neglect addressing the very reson they were taking place! if you don't believe me about this random day of mine towards the end of my college career - just ask Brooke - she was the luckiest to hear it first.
About a year ago, I went to a "get to know" you lunch at work where 4 women talked about the weather, the menu, and what TV shows they watched the night before. we never even touched a subject that would remotely help us get to know each other. in my opinion, the lunch was a total waste of time.
I could go on for days with examples, but I think by now, my point has clearly been expressed. After several additional occasions that ended in similar disappointment, I found myself longing for someone to prove me wrong. Will anyone ever talk about what the past year has meant to them at a birthday gathering? Do people ever share favorite memories about a co-worker who is leaving? This is like creating a template and never inputing the data. Or like wearing multiple accessories with no outfit. Would you warm up for an exercise, then cool down, without the workout in between? It could even be compared to compliling a title, index, and appendix to a book, with no story in between. The only scenario that I might possibly side with is going to the Melting Pot to order the 'appetizer' round and 'dessert' round, skipping the meat in between.
Just the other day, I had the privilege to go to a "going away" lunch. I went in convinced that the topic would never be touched. To my surprise, a gift was given, a card was personally written in, a gift card actually matched the persons interest and the guest of honor was asked to give a small going away speech. After blinking extra hard and pinching my arm, I learned that I was not dreaming. I had finally been proven wrong, and it was quite refreshing.
